Getting my life together

So, I suppose it's time for me to start having an adult life. No, not like that you weirdos.  It is time for me to get my act together and stuff. Probably should stop using stuff as a descriptive word if I want this adult thing to stick.

First thing I have done in order to get my life together: I threw away all my makeup I bought during the Bush Administration. Ew. Just think about all the nasty germies and other microbes that are crawling around in there, especially if you ever use your fingers as an applicator.

Then, I threw away all my mascara and started over with new ones. Docs say you shouldn't use any makeup that touches your eye for more than six months. That means I need to sharpen all my eye pencils anyway. It's nice to take a moment when you're not frantically trying to get dressed to put a fresh point on the eye pencils. They work so much better that way.

You should do this, too. Go, I'll wait. If you don't have any mascara, you should buy some. Just some nice brownish-black, a tinted moisturizing sunscreen and a neutral lip gloss and you'll feel like a whole new person.

And if you're a boy, well...go throw away all your underwear and buy new ones. Probably socks, too.