At the beginning of this year I was a college professor. Now I am a homeschooling mother.
At the beginning of this year I wore heels and jewelry and makeup every day. Now, I live in pajama pants and nerd t-shirts.
At the beginning of this year I was in pain every day. I still am, but not as much. And I've learned a lot about managing my disease.
About two and a half years ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I had been symptomatic for over a decade - it started being debilitating in the last few years. And as difficult as dealing with the pain has been, its assault on my mind has been much harder to deal with. They call it "fibro fog" and when that part shows up, my ability to think clearly and logically - such an inherent part of my personality, to think and speak precisely and elegantly - is undermined. I can't follow conversations. I hear other people, but can't process what they are saying. My vocabulary gets locked away and I can't find the words to express the thoughts that are fighting to get out. That's more frustrating to me than the pain.
But this is the new normal. There are days when I stay in my pajamas, because I literally have to choose between putting on jeans and reading stories to my child. I have reduced my outside commitments drastically because I have had to define my priorities, and my husband and my child are always going to come before anything else.
If I was in charge of the world, nothing would start before 1:00pm. It takes me three or four hours to get to the point where I feel like I have the energy to face the world. Rather, I think it would be more correct to say that it takes me three or four hours to accumulate enough energy to face the world. I wake up with an empty fuel tank, and a pretty good idea of how big my fuel tank is going to be for the day. That's a particularly frustrating point for people outside my family to grasp - my ability to deal with the outside world varies widely from day to day. I may be able to go out to the movies one day and seem fine, and the next day I'm going to stay in my pajamas and have someone bring me food. It makes planning ahead difficult. I never know when I am going to have a good day. I really want to take Cooper to Disneyland next year, but how do you plan something like that when your own health is variable? And then you feel guilt for not being able to do all the fun mom things, and that rebounds into making your symptoms worse.
I also have the fun additional quirks of having depression and being severely introverted. Depression makes the pain worse and the pain makes the depression worse, so that's fun. And then with being introverted, having to interact with people is exhausting. So, I might be able to go sit through Les Mis fine (I did and bawled like a baby) but going to a party for the same amount of time, where I'm expected to interact with people, especially people I don't know well, would end with me spending the next day in debilitating pain.
And that's the new normal for me, and for our family. We do the things we can when I can. GeekBoy picks up my slack when I can't do things, and never complains. We may not have the perfectly decorated home, and sometimes the dishes don't get washed for longer than I like to think about, but it works for us.
So I update facebook more than my blog, because posting a sentence or two, or just uploading a picture, is so much easier for me than writing out a thoughtful post. And we have grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner rather than pork loin or gnocchi. But my son reads now, and he didn't do that three months ago. And he skip counts by two for fun, and can do math in his head, and he builds elaborate marble mazes, and loves story hour at the library (my Thursday priority) and gymnastics (my Friday priority) and knows the first three Articles of Faith by memory and the first six apostles and he is kind and generous and thoughtful and sharing and that means I'm doing right by him even if he doesn't speak multiple languages or play a musical instrument. And he knows he is loved. Every minute of the day.
And my husband knows that I love him. And we laugh together, and I go to the movies with him when I can, and watch tv in bed with him when that's all I'm capable of doing, and he is the most amazing person for never letting me feel like he resents me for the additional burdens my health places on him and on our family. He is wonderful. He is my rock, and my guardian, and my best friend.
This is my new normal. It's a good normal. And I'm perfectly happy with it.
Showing posts with label Cooper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cooper. Show all posts
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
What week is this?
I think we had a good week here at our little school. Geekboy's company has been experimenting with consolidated schedules and for the last month he wasn't getting home until 6:30 or 7:00 at night. That was super difficult on both Cooper and I, and by the last week of that we were both just dragging through the days. But this week, he moved to a different schedule where he's home by 5:20 and still has time to come home and see us during lunch. This has been a much better schedule for everybody (except maybe Geekboy, who is getting up at 6:00am now) and I'm really grateful that I have a husband who is willing to get up early to make his wife's life easier.
So, what have we been up to this week?
We've been doing our standard handwriting, math and reading combination in the morning. Larry the Lobster (a handpuppet my mother sent us is required to supervise these lessons, according to Cooper.) This week we started doing children's fairy tales. Cooper's favorite has definitely been "The Gingerbread Man."
For science we've been studying the change in the seasons, and what happens when it turns autumn. He gathered a bunch of fallen leaves and has brought them into the house for his collection. We read Four Seasons Make a Year by Anne Rockwell, and learned about the cycle of nature on a farm. He recognized the drawing of a chickadee in the book.
We went to story time at the library this week for the first time. I finally remembered it and got there on time! Cooper was very reluctant to go at the beginning, but by the end, he decided it was fun and he wants to go again next week. We have a wonderful children's library here. They are doing some remodeling, so I'm not sure what they are adding. Cooper has also discovered the big bean bag style chairs up in the teens' section on the third floor, so we have to go visit up there every time we come so he can lounge in one of the chairs for a few minutes. We checked out his first Bill Peet book, How Droofus the Dragon Lost His Head. It might be the start of a new addiction for him. I remember my little brother loved Bill Peet books. It cracks me up that Cooper checks out books by the color of the spine rather than any other thing. This week was yellow books.
We tried geocaching. We didn't find the cache, but had a great time being outside and learning about shadows and burrowing animals. I need to get a better gps system than the one I have on my phone.
We've been watching playoff baseball in the evening. Cooper is fascinated by the scorekeeping icons on the screen, and likes announcing which bases have players on them. Teaching your child isn't all about academics.
Cooper's favorite thing this week was using poker chips as toys. He sorted them. He played "which cup has the red one in it." With transparent cups. He fed them to his farm animals. He built roads for his cars with them. We had a target throwing contest. Which reminds me I need to get some of the chips out from under the bookshelf, because sometimes my aim is really bad.
He had gymnastics this morning. He loves his gymnastics class and Miss Tracy so much! He may not be the best athlete, but he is definitely enthusiastic.
We watched the (Scandinavian?) movie Max's Magical Adventure, or Frogs and Toads. Netflix has it listed both ways. It's dubbed, and is about two little kids who go on an adventure in the countryside looking for frog eggs. Cooper was mesmerized. He laughed and smiled, and was fascinated by all the different animals the kids saw. He was singing one of the songs from the movie later. It's definitely a kids movie, but much less annoying than most.
Finally, his favorite app on the iPad this week has been Where's My Water? It's a logic game in which you have to get water to the alligator's shower around a variety of obstacles. It amazes me how fast he can do some of the levels.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
A good week
This last week has been good. Cooper's making noticeable progress in all of his learning. The FCRR curriculum I'm using is just wonderful, his handwriting is getting better, he's making progress in math, and we have been learning about magnets this week. Our front door kind of looks like a refrigerator with the number of magnets on it, but he had so much fun discovering which surfaces in the house were magnetic and which were not.
Now I just need to find my cell phone so I can take pictures of some of the things we have done. I haven't seen my phone in a week.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Chapter books
I've started reading a chapter book to Cooper at bedtime. I've found that his tolerance for read alouds is much higher in the evening than during the day when there are so. many. things. that needs his attention. Not only am I hearing the fabled words of "read some more!" but I'm also impressed with how much of the story he remembers. He basically retold the story to his dad last night, to catch him up to where we were.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
First day of school
Wednesday was technically our first day of school.
Cooper's done pretty well with school. I think the harder adjustment has been for me. It's taken me a few days to realize that he really is five and really does have a five year old's attention span. Some of my grandiose plans have been shelved for a year or two. So far one of the biggest hits has been the series of My First Discovery Books that his Aunt Sarah sent him. He has decided that his favorite insect is the Colorado Potato Beetle. He made me promise that if we find one, he can keep it and feed it potatoes.
The crocodile mouth was a huge failure. He doesn't like it when the animals get eaten, so he kept adding animals to the smaller group to make both groups the same size so the crocodile couldn't eat either group. We had the same problem a year ago with the Pig Tails game. He refused to play it half way through because the wolf eating the pigs upset him so much. I need to remember this for future activities.
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| Throwing some kind of gang symbol. |
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| Setting up dominoes to knock them down with his car |
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| Figuring out how to make the path turn corners |
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| Practicing classifying |
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| Practicing which group is bigger with the crocodile mouth |
Cooper's done pretty well with school. I think the harder adjustment has been for me. It's taken me a few days to realize that he really is five and really does have a five year old's attention span. Some of my grandiose plans have been shelved for a year or two. So far one of the biggest hits has been the series of My First Discovery Books that his Aunt Sarah sent him. He has decided that his favorite insect is the Colorado Potato Beetle. He made me promise that if we find one, he can keep it and feed it potatoes.
The crocodile mouth was a huge failure. He doesn't like it when the animals get eaten, so he kept adding animals to the smaller group to make both groups the same size so the crocodile couldn't eat either group. We had the same problem a year ago with the Pig Tails game. He refused to play it half way through because the wolf eating the pigs upset him so much. I need to remember this for future activities.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
I have a blog?
Oh yeah, I have a blog.
Poor neglected little blog.
Let's see, what have I been up to in the last six weeks?
I have a totally new yard. We've been saving for years and this year we did it. Patio, fence, new grass, xeriscaping in the front. It's fantastic. It also involved a broken water line to our house and a flooded basement. That was not so fantastic. We also installed egress windows in the basement which has made the basement so much more liveable. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to take advantage of the increased livability of the basement. I think there has to be a way to turn one of the windows into a little reading area, but I haven't figured out the exact best way to do it yet.
Geekboy managed to fall into one of the window wells. He's still healing from the cuts and scrapes. Cooper has managed to lecture his father on not falling down holes multiple times in the last few weeks. "You are not supposed to fall down holes. You take the stairs and if there are not stairs you take the elevator. You do not just fall down holes."
We have pretty much moved every piece of furniture in the house except our bed and dresser. The living room is now in the playroom. The playroom is now where the living room was. It's also been turned into a learning space, so the table and easel that were in Cooper's room are now upstairs and the train table is now downstairs, and... you get the idea. Of course, as all those little things lost places to live they ended up on the kitchen table, so the last of them finally got rehomed today, so we used our kitchen table for the first time in about, oh, a month today for lunch. That's not quite as horrible as it sounds because we have been using the table on our new patio to have meals and it is so lovely to have a patio to have meals. When Cooper's done, he gets up and runs around the yard and plays and Geekboy and I sit in our fake Adirondack chairs and we all just hang out and it is lovely.
The semester is over. I have to go clean out my office sometime in the next week. I'm not sure where I am going to put all the books I bring home. Oh, the books. We moved all the bookshelves in the house and reorganized them, and for about six minutes there was actually empty shelf space in my house but then homeschool happened to them and there are no more empty shelves. I also found a new used bookstore in town. I have not yet been there to check it out, but it is within walking distance from my house. That may discourage me from buying books that are not truly necessary (what? what does that even mean?) if I have to carry them home.
We adjusted Cooper's medicine back down. He was too focused, wouldn't stop what he was doing to eat, and becoming obsessive in his play, like to the point he couldn't make himself stop long enough to use the bathroom. He is on one extended release tablet in the morning, but he may go to a multiple pill regimen once he is at home full time. We'll see how he handles schooling on the lower dosage before we make any more changes to his medication.
I have lots of blog post ideas for the next few weeks. My feelings about transitioning to full time at-home momma, the end (for now) of being a professor, a full picture show of our awesome new yard, the schoolroom, first day of kindergarten, etc. The last six weeks or so have been chaotic, both at home and at work, and transitions are always difficult to process while in the midst of them. But I have lots of thoughts up in my head that will eventually make it onto the pixellated page.
Poor neglected little blog.
Let's see, what have I been up to in the last six weeks?
I have a totally new yard. We've been saving for years and this year we did it. Patio, fence, new grass, xeriscaping in the front. It's fantastic. It also involved a broken water line to our house and a flooded basement. That was not so fantastic. We also installed egress windows in the basement which has made the basement so much more liveable. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to take advantage of the increased livability of the basement. I think there has to be a way to turn one of the windows into a little reading area, but I haven't figured out the exact best way to do it yet.
Geekboy managed to fall into one of the window wells. He's still healing from the cuts and scrapes. Cooper has managed to lecture his father on not falling down holes multiple times in the last few weeks. "You are not supposed to fall down holes. You take the stairs and if there are not stairs you take the elevator. You do not just fall down holes."
We have pretty much moved every piece of furniture in the house except our bed and dresser. The living room is now in the playroom. The playroom is now where the living room was. It's also been turned into a learning space, so the table and easel that were in Cooper's room are now upstairs and the train table is now downstairs, and... you get the idea. Of course, as all those little things lost places to live they ended up on the kitchen table, so the last of them finally got rehomed today, so we used our kitchen table for the first time in about, oh, a month today for lunch. That's not quite as horrible as it sounds because we have been using the table on our new patio to have meals and it is so lovely to have a patio to have meals. When Cooper's done, he gets up and runs around the yard and plays and Geekboy and I sit in our fake Adirondack chairs and we all just hang out and it is lovely.
The semester is over. I have to go clean out my office sometime in the next week. I'm not sure where I am going to put all the books I bring home. Oh, the books. We moved all the bookshelves in the house and reorganized them, and for about six minutes there was actually empty shelf space in my house but then homeschool happened to them and there are no more empty shelves. I also found a new used bookstore in town. I have not yet been there to check it out, but it is within walking distance from my house. That may discourage me from buying books that are not truly necessary (what? what does that even mean?) if I have to carry them home.
We adjusted Cooper's medicine back down. He was too focused, wouldn't stop what he was doing to eat, and becoming obsessive in his play, like to the point he couldn't make himself stop long enough to use the bathroom. He is on one extended release tablet in the morning, but he may go to a multiple pill regimen once he is at home full time. We'll see how he handles schooling on the lower dosage before we make any more changes to his medication.
I have lots of blog post ideas for the next few weeks. My feelings about transitioning to full time at-home momma, the end (for now) of being a professor, a full picture show of our awesome new yard, the schoolroom, first day of kindergarten, etc. The last six weeks or so have been chaotic, both at home and at work, and transitions are always difficult to process while in the midst of them. But I have lots of thoughts up in my head that will eventually make it onto the pixellated page.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Updates and stuff
Life has been crazy!
I've had a cold that's refusing to go away, and then Sunday I got a migraine for the first time in a really long time. It's taken two days to fade. I'm starting to think one of my students has a voodoo doll.
We are gearing up for homeschooling here. We're talking about swapping the living room and the playroom so we can have the bigger room for the combination playroom/classroom. I've been researching curriculum and reading about teaching little ones and specifically teaching kids with ADHD. I've found lots of good resources and have to keep reminding myself, "You have years ahead of you. You don't have to do everything at once."
Cooper is responding really well to his medication. One of his teachers has been on medical leave since before he started medication. She came back this week and has commented both days on how well he has done and what an improvement he has made. That's wonderful to hear someone else validating our views that this is helping.
He's been doing great at home as well as at school. He's fallen in love with Lego, but still loves playing with his Trio blocks as well. He built a quite complex trailer bed with pontoon wheel supports (he actually figured out how to use gears as wheels), and then built a trailer hitch out of the blocks and hooked it up to one of his cars so the car can pull it all over.
We were looking through one of his animal books the other night and talking about the different types of animals. I said that animals that have hair or fur are called mammals. He said, "I have hair. Am I a mammal?" Yep. Then he looked at me. "You have hair, are you a mammal?" Yep. "And daddy has hair, so he's a mammal, too!" Smart kid.
Also, he thinks getting to use the hose to water the flower beds is the funnest thing ever, so that's a great help. He also likes to fill the bird feeders. We're working on identifying some of the birds that come to the yard as well, but he still has urges to try and catch them.
And he insists on calling me Captain Momma and GeekBoy Captain Daddy. And sometimes he salutes and says, "Yessir!" when we ask him to do stuff.
I've had a cold that's refusing to go away, and then Sunday I got a migraine for the first time in a really long time. It's taken two days to fade. I'm starting to think one of my students has a voodoo doll.
We are gearing up for homeschooling here. We're talking about swapping the living room and the playroom so we can have the bigger room for the combination playroom/classroom. I've been researching curriculum and reading about teaching little ones and specifically teaching kids with ADHD. I've found lots of good resources and have to keep reminding myself, "You have years ahead of you. You don't have to do everything at once."
Cooper is responding really well to his medication. One of his teachers has been on medical leave since before he started medication. She came back this week and has commented both days on how well he has done and what an improvement he has made. That's wonderful to hear someone else validating our views that this is helping.
He's been doing great at home as well as at school. He's fallen in love with Lego, but still loves playing with his Trio blocks as well. He built a quite complex trailer bed with pontoon wheel supports (he actually figured out how to use gears as wheels), and then built a trailer hitch out of the blocks and hooked it up to one of his cars so the car can pull it all over.
We were looking through one of his animal books the other night and talking about the different types of animals. I said that animals that have hair or fur are called mammals. He said, "I have hair. Am I a mammal?" Yep. Then he looked at me. "You have hair, are you a mammal?" Yep. "And daddy has hair, so he's a mammal, too!" Smart kid.
Also, he thinks getting to use the hose to water the flower beds is the funnest thing ever, so that's a great help. He also likes to fill the bird feeders. We're working on identifying some of the birds that come to the yard as well, but he still has urges to try and catch them.
And he insists on calling me Captain Momma and GeekBoy Captain Daddy. And sometimes he salutes and says, "Yessir!" when we ask him to do stuff.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Catching up
New one for the birding life list - white-crowned sparrow. Very noticeable black and white striped head and bright yellowy-orange beak.
Drove by the river yesterday and was wondering what the little fluffballs on the ground were. Then I realized they were baby goslings! Awww, little fluffballs. I've also been watching some birdcams - great heron, red tailed hawk and peregrine falcon - so have seen lots of little fluffballs.
Cooper had his speech evaluation today. He has all his sounds except he's about 50% on R and misses almost all of his L and TH sounds. The speech therapist is a friend of mine and works for the school district, so she is going to do speech therapy with him over the summer. She says she doesn't think it will take that long to get his sounds in, it will just take some training to get his tongue to go to the right place after having a tongue tie for so long. I'll just pay her directly - take that insurance! We'll do two 15 minute sessions a week until we get him caught up.
Drove by the river yesterday and was wondering what the little fluffballs on the ground were. Then I realized they were baby goslings! Awww, little fluffballs. I've also been watching some birdcams - great heron, red tailed hawk and peregrine falcon - so have seen lots of little fluffballs.
Cooper had his speech evaluation today. He has all his sounds except he's about 50% on R and misses almost all of his L and TH sounds. The speech therapist is a friend of mine and works for the school district, so she is going to do speech therapy with him over the summer. She says she doesn't think it will take that long to get his sounds in, it will just take some training to get his tongue to go to the right place after having a tongue tie for so long. I'll just pay her directly - take that insurance! We'll do two 15 minute sessions a week until we get him caught up.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Last day of Spring Break
I got the snow tires taken off my car. That pretty much guarantees that we will get a blizzard in the next few days.
Cooper has an appointment tomorrow morning with his pediatrician. I'm pretty sure he's been losing weight on this medication, and I want to discuss where we go from here. The recommended specialist in pediatric ADHD isn't covered by my insurance, but it is by GeekBoy's, so we will gain coverage in about four months. I need to call my insurance tomorrow morning about out of network coverage for seeing the specialist before then, and if we need an official referral. I'm sick of waiting for things to happen for him. This medication has helped with impulse control, but I'm not seeing an improvement in attention. That combined with the weight loss means time to try something new.
I also need to call the school district to follow up on scheduling a speech evaluation for him. At his five year check-up, the pediatrician expressed some concern about his speech. I'm pretty sure that it is just from him being tongue tied for so long; he doesn't know how to shape certain letters. But that's one more thing to work on.
Cooper has a large head, just like both his parents. We went to Target tonight to find new shirts. We actually have to try on each t-shirt to make sure that it fits over his head comfortably. So, all his shirts are big on him, but at least he doesn't complain about the pain they cause going on and off now. Also, thank goodness for polos and henleys. Bonus - button practice!
We also picked up a horseshoe and badmitton set at Target. More outdoor activities. I am so looking forward to it warming up. Our second daffodil bloomed today. It may be half way through April, but it is still on the chilly beginning of spring here.
Back to campus tomorrow for my last semester. I bought a new funky necklace to wear for the first day of classes on Wednesday. I am such a girl.
Cooper has an appointment tomorrow morning with his pediatrician. I'm pretty sure he's been losing weight on this medication, and I want to discuss where we go from here. The recommended specialist in pediatric ADHD isn't covered by my insurance, but it is by GeekBoy's, so we will gain coverage in about four months. I need to call my insurance tomorrow morning about out of network coverage for seeing the specialist before then, and if we need an official referral. I'm sick of waiting for things to happen for him. This medication has helped with impulse control, but I'm not seeing an improvement in attention. That combined with the weight loss means time to try something new.
I also need to call the school district to follow up on scheduling a speech evaluation for him. At his five year check-up, the pediatrician expressed some concern about his speech. I'm pretty sure that it is just from him being tongue tied for so long; he doesn't know how to shape certain letters. But that's one more thing to work on.
Cooper has a large head, just like both his parents. We went to Target tonight to find new shirts. We actually have to try on each t-shirt to make sure that it fits over his head comfortably. So, all his shirts are big on him, but at least he doesn't complain about the pain they cause going on and off now. Also, thank goodness for polos and henleys. Bonus - button practice!
We also picked up a horseshoe and badmitton set at Target. More outdoor activities. I am so looking forward to it warming up. Our second daffodil bloomed today. It may be half way through April, but it is still on the chilly beginning of spring here.
Back to campus tomorrow for my last semester. I bought a new funky necklace to wear for the first day of classes on Wednesday. I am such a girl.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Notes about Cooper
Cooper and GeekBoy are practicing math with pretzels right now.
Last night, Cooper engaged in an act of civil disobedience. We put him to bed, but he didn't want to go to sleep, so he sang the ABC song at the top of his lungs for an hour straight. He varied tempo, but it was pretty much always at blastissimo. Sometimes he would just sing the same six letters repeatedly, like a record that was stuck. After an hour he started to fade off, and then after a few minutes he would start up again. That repeated a few times until he finally fell asleep. It is very difficult to read or concentrate on anything with the Cooper Choir in the next room.
We had our first camp fire in the back yard Friday night. We're burning off a lot of brush that we trimmed out of lilacs and other bushes. Cooper perked up after about ten minutes and said, "We need marshmallows!" He loves roasting them, but doesn't really like eating them.
We went to Salt Lake City last week and rode the commuter train around downtown. Friday Cooper asked if he would could ride the trains again. I said we don't have trains in our town. He pulled out his hand, pointed to a dot on his palm, and said, "Here they are! I don't know how to get there, but this does." I asked him, "Oh, is that your map?" And he replied, with a slightly disgusted tone to his voice, "No, that's my phone." Okay, child of the 21st century, excuse me for not realizing that a phone is a map now.
He also wanted to go back to "the room with all the balls in it," i.e. the Children's Discovery Museum at the Gateway in Salt Lake City. He thinks we should be on vacation every day now. GeekBoy took him to McDonalds to play on the indoor playground, but it totally did not cut it.
He turned five a few weeks ago. He gets more fun every day.
Last night, Cooper engaged in an act of civil disobedience. We put him to bed, but he didn't want to go to sleep, so he sang the ABC song at the top of his lungs for an hour straight. He varied tempo, but it was pretty much always at blastissimo. Sometimes he would just sing the same six letters repeatedly, like a record that was stuck. After an hour he started to fade off, and then after a few minutes he would start up again. That repeated a few times until he finally fell asleep. It is very difficult to read or concentrate on anything with the Cooper Choir in the next room.
We had our first camp fire in the back yard Friday night. We're burning off a lot of brush that we trimmed out of lilacs and other bushes. Cooper perked up after about ten minutes and said, "We need marshmallows!" He loves roasting them, but doesn't really like eating them.
We went to Salt Lake City last week and rode the commuter train around downtown. Friday Cooper asked if he would could ride the trains again. I said we don't have trains in our town. He pulled out his hand, pointed to a dot on his palm, and said, "Here they are! I don't know how to get there, but this does." I asked him, "Oh, is that your map?" And he replied, with a slightly disgusted tone to his voice, "No, that's my phone." Okay, child of the 21st century, excuse me for not realizing that a phone is a map now.
He also wanted to go back to "the room with all the balls in it," i.e. the Children's Discovery Museum at the Gateway in Salt Lake City. He thinks we should be on vacation every day now. GeekBoy took him to McDonalds to play on the indoor playground, but it totally did not cut it.
He turned five a few weeks ago. He gets more fun every day.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Getting a diagnosis: Part Two
Part one is here.
I spent several hours last week dealing with doctors and insurance companies. We called to schedule the testing that Cooper's pediatrician recommended. The highly regarded specialist in our town who does this testing with children doesn't take our insurance. If we want to have it done anyway, it's $2600 out of pocket. Goodbye plans to fence the backyard this summer.
So, I called my insurance company and asked if there was someone in-network who performed these services. They put me on hold for a while and then told me that they don't cover that procedure at all until ADHD has been ruled out as a diagnosis. So, I have to get ADHD ruled out before they will authorize anyone to perform the examinations. It doesn't matter if ADHD is co-occuring with other disorders, they won't authorize it at all at this point.
So they send me back to their website to pick a provider to do a psych eval to determine if Cooper has ADHD. I finally found one person who specializes in psychiatric diagnostics rather than in counseling, and he can't get Cooper in until the end of April. The specialist I was referred to could have gotten him in this week.
To make this even more fun, my insurance ends when I resign this summer, and we'll be switching to GeekBoy's insurance. GeekBoy's insurance covers this procedure with no hoops to jump through. But we can't swap to his insurance unless there is a "life change" like loss of insurance coverage someplace else. But I can't voluntarily terminate my insurance so we can get on his insurance.
At this point, I'm seriously considering just trying Cooper out on medication, and waiting until August when we are on the new insurance to get him properly assessed by a specialist, rather than paying for an ADHD diagnosis twice.
Things like this are why I support single payer health insurance.
I spent several hours last week dealing with doctors and insurance companies. We called to schedule the testing that Cooper's pediatrician recommended. The highly regarded specialist in our town who does this testing with children doesn't take our insurance. If we want to have it done anyway, it's $2600 out of pocket. Goodbye plans to fence the backyard this summer.
So, I called my insurance company and asked if there was someone in-network who performed these services. They put me on hold for a while and then told me that they don't cover that procedure at all until ADHD has been ruled out as a diagnosis. So, I have to get ADHD ruled out before they will authorize anyone to perform the examinations. It doesn't matter if ADHD is co-occuring with other disorders, they won't authorize it at all at this point.
So they send me back to their website to pick a provider to do a psych eval to determine if Cooper has ADHD. I finally found one person who specializes in psychiatric diagnostics rather than in counseling, and he can't get Cooper in until the end of April. The specialist I was referred to could have gotten him in this week.
To make this even more fun, my insurance ends when I resign this summer, and we'll be switching to GeekBoy's insurance. GeekBoy's insurance covers this procedure with no hoops to jump through. But we can't swap to his insurance unless there is a "life change" like loss of insurance coverage someplace else. But I can't voluntarily terminate my insurance so we can get on his insurance.
At this point, I'm seriously considering just trying Cooper out on medication, and waiting until August when we are on the new insurance to get him properly assessed by a specialist, rather than paying for an ADHD diagnosis twice.
Things like this are why I support single payer health insurance.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Getting a Diagnosis: Part One
We met with Cooper's pediatrician today, who said he is presenting like a textbook case of ADHD. He said we have one of two options at this point, 1. Test him for any other conditions that mimic the symptoms of ADHD to rule out anything else, or any co-occurring disorders, or 2. Put him on meds and see what happens.
I went for one. He'll refer us to a group that does diagnostic work with little kids and they will do a full screen of IQ, learning disorders, developmental or sensory disorders, and psychiatric conditions. We should be expecting a call from them this week.
Can I say that I just love Cooper's pediatrician? I know so many people who have to fight to get their kids the treatment they need and proper assessments done, and we have a doctor that's completely on board with letting us determine what course to pursue.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Wouldn't want life to get too easy
Cooper's preschool teachers talked to GeekBoy Thursday about some problems Cooper is having in class. He's not paying attention, he won't sit still, he can't focus, it takes him forever to do a worksheet because he can't remember things short term, he doesn't follow directions he hits or pulls hair or lifts shirts of other kids, especially during circle time, etc. This was at the end of a week where Cooper lost all of his tickets - they get three tickets at the beginning of each day and lose one when they break a rule - every day.
When GeekBoy told me this, I felt like someone had stomped on my heart. No one wants to hear that their child is struggling in school. Discussing these symptoms, which we had also noticed at home, but to a lesser extent since he is an only child and doesn't have to sit still often, I brought up the idea of ADHD. This wasn't a huge surprise because GeekBoy has had ADHD(undiagnosed) for his whole life, and finally got diagnosed last month and went on medication to treat it. It's made a big difference in his behavior. We probably wouldn't have immediately jumped there if he hadn't sought treatment last month. Looking at the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, Cooper demonstrates 17 out of the 19 criteria, many (most?) of them to a degree that affect his functioning to the point where he is demonstrating some sort of deficit in the classroom.
If it turns out that Cooper has ADHD, it will be a lifestyle change for us. But I think we've been prepared for this. It is easier to see now why I have felt so impressed to home school. All the things that he is struggling with right now are just going to be a bigger part of his school life if we put him in a standard classroom. GeekBoy finally sought out treatment for his ADHD so we were looking for that connection.
So we've scheduled an initial evaluation with his pediatrician for tomorrow. We've sent a functional assessment checklist to his teacher to fill out so we can take that with us tomorrow as well. And, to the surprise of absolutely no one who knows me, I spent the weekend researching and reading everything I can get my hands on about parenting, teaching and ADHD. We are increasing the protein in his breakfast. I've researched the legal rights of children with ADHD. I wrote my first letter requesting accommodation for my child last night and sent it to school this morning. We roleplayed with him what to say when he gets frustrated, and how to ask for help, rather than hitting.
And today he kept two of his tickets. Whether it was a fluke or because of the work we did with him, it felt like someone saying, "You can do this. And so can he."
When GeekBoy told me this, I felt like someone had stomped on my heart. No one wants to hear that their child is struggling in school. Discussing these symptoms, which we had also noticed at home, but to a lesser extent since he is an only child and doesn't have to sit still often, I brought up the idea of ADHD. This wasn't a huge surprise because GeekBoy has had ADHD(undiagnosed) for his whole life, and finally got diagnosed last month and went on medication to treat it. It's made a big difference in his behavior. We probably wouldn't have immediately jumped there if he hadn't sought treatment last month. Looking at the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, Cooper demonstrates 17 out of the 19 criteria, many (most?) of them to a degree that affect his functioning to the point where he is demonstrating some sort of deficit in the classroom.
If it turns out that Cooper has ADHD, it will be a lifestyle change for us. But I think we've been prepared for this. It is easier to see now why I have felt so impressed to home school. All the things that he is struggling with right now are just going to be a bigger part of his school life if we put him in a standard classroom. GeekBoy finally sought out treatment for his ADHD so we were looking for that connection.
So we've scheduled an initial evaluation with his pediatrician for tomorrow. We've sent a functional assessment checklist to his teacher to fill out so we can take that with us tomorrow as well. And, to the surprise of absolutely no one who knows me, I spent the weekend researching and reading everything I can get my hands on about parenting, teaching and ADHD. We are increasing the protein in his breakfast. I've researched the legal rights of children with ADHD. I wrote my first letter requesting accommodation for my child last night and sent it to school this morning. We roleplayed with him what to say when he gets frustrated, and how to ask for help, rather than hitting.
And today he kept two of his tickets. Whether it was a fluke or because of the work we did with him, it felt like someone saying, "You can do this. And so can he."
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Seven for Saturday: February 11, 2012
1. I asked to be released from doing a visiting teaching route and to be put in charge of writing letters to people who have asked for that to be their only contact. Being proactive in taking charge of my health and recognizing my limits is a big step for me.
2. We found one of the vitamins that I am prescribed in glass bottles rather than plastic. Also, the bottles are full rather than mostly empty. Yay for reduced waste.
3. Donut holes for breakfast. Yum.
4. GeekBoy is currently massaging my feet. This is not an unusual occurrence.
5. Cooper is in a phase where he only wants to watch the fourth episode of his favorite TV shows.
6. I have been falling in love with the poetry of Mary Oliver. I keep telling myself to slow down and portion out how many I read at one sitting, but it is so difficult.
7. My political ecology class is traumatizing my students. I've had one give up meat already.
2. We found one of the vitamins that I am prescribed in glass bottles rather than plastic. Also, the bottles are full rather than mostly empty. Yay for reduced waste.
3. Donut holes for breakfast. Yum.
4. GeekBoy is currently massaging my feet. This is not an unusual occurrence.
5. Cooper is in a phase where he only wants to watch the fourth episode of his favorite TV shows.
6. I have been falling in love with the poetry of Mary Oliver. I keep telling myself to slow down and portion out how many I read at one sitting, but it is so difficult.
7. My political ecology class is traumatizing my students. I've had one give up meat already.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Moments worth remembering...or not
Stepped barefoot in barf last night. That's a true badge of motherhood.
Was teaching Rousseau's The Social Contract today. I'm working the students through the part where Rousseau argues for the need to overthrow existing corrupt, master-slaved dominated, enslaving society to move towards liberated man in a free society. I was exclaiming rather loudly, "We have to overthrow the government," when I realized my classroom door was open, so I asked a student to shut it. A few seconds later a student from out in the hall re-opened the door. He apologized and said, "We're rather enjoying the lecture and want to see where you're going with it."
We also now have a class pencil named Steve. Don't ask.
I ordered 35 perennials to put in the flower bed that we planted 400+ bulbs in last fall. I have really high hopes that this is going to end up being beautiful. Also, it was snowing while I was ordering plants. Flower catalogs are gardener porn.
Cooper lied to me for the first time. He told me GeekBoy had told him he could do something when I had heard GeekBoy tell him the exact opposite.
Was teaching Rousseau's The Social Contract today. I'm working the students through the part where Rousseau argues for the need to overthrow existing corrupt, master-slaved dominated, enslaving society to move towards liberated man in a free society. I was exclaiming rather loudly, "We have to overthrow the government," when I realized my classroom door was open, so I asked a student to shut it. A few seconds later a student from out in the hall re-opened the door. He apologized and said, "We're rather enjoying the lecture and want to see where you're going with it."
We also now have a class pencil named Steve. Don't ask.
I ordered 35 perennials to put in the flower bed that we planted 400+ bulbs in last fall. I have really high hopes that this is going to end up being beautiful. Also, it was snowing while I was ordering plants. Flower catalogs are gardener porn.
Cooper lied to me for the first time. He told me GeekBoy had told him he could do something when I had heard GeekBoy tell him the exact opposite.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Seven for Saturday: January 21, 2012
1. Seeing the look of happiness on GeekBoy's face while he was opening his birthday presents.
2. Cooper randomly telling me that hippos don't fit in backpacks.
3. A student told me I would fit right in on The Big Bang Theory. Best compliment from a student ever.
4. The 100th episode of The Big Bang Theory. I laughed until I was on the verge of tears. As someone who has played more games of Catan than I can count, those conversations were dead. on.
5. We had a breaker flip in the middle of the night. We found this out by Cooper coming into our bedroom and asking to sleep with us. Our new bed is big enough that he can fit in the bed without disturbing my sleep. Sleepy cuddles are awesome.
6. Needing a treat and knowing there were no treats in the house. And then remembering about my emergency chocolate drawer that GeekBoy stocks for me. Such a great feeling to open it up and have a choice of treats.
7. GeekBoy got me a bird house for the yard. One step closer to getting our yard certified as wildlife habitat.
2. Cooper randomly telling me that hippos don't fit in backpacks.
3. A student told me I would fit right in on The Big Bang Theory. Best compliment from a student ever.
4. The 100th episode of The Big Bang Theory. I laughed until I was on the verge of tears. As someone who has played more games of Catan than I can count, those conversations were dead. on.
5. We had a breaker flip in the middle of the night. We found this out by Cooper coming into our bedroom and asking to sleep with us. Our new bed is big enough that he can fit in the bed without disturbing my sleep. Sleepy cuddles are awesome.
6. Needing a treat and knowing there were no treats in the house. And then remembering about my emergency chocolate drawer that GeekBoy stocks for me. Such a great feeling to open it up and have a choice of treats.
7. GeekBoy got me a bird house for the yard. One step closer to getting our yard certified as wildlife habitat.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Things to do with Cooper
I have all these ideas running around in my head about the things I want to do with Cooper when I get to stay home with him.
1. Make big soft pretzels.
2. Plant a play yard with sunflower walls and a teepee covered in some sort of vine.
3. Grow a small garden that he gets to decide what is in it.
4. Do yoga together.
5. Do little "chef" classes - he loves to help in the kitchen.
6. Read together every day, just for fun.
7. Test out every playground in the city.
8. Feed the geese our failures from number five.
9. Make suet pine cones with pine cones we gather ourselves.
10. Blow the biggest bubble ever.
11. Sidewalk chalk art contests.
12. Weekly library trips.
13. Learn the names of the stars in the sky.
14. Take walks under every full moon.
15. Hopscotch.
16. Go to the zoo a lot.
17. Visiting daddy at work for lunch.
18. Nature walks.
19. Building forts and caves in the living room.
20. Bike rides.
21. Popping popcorn on the stove.
I will not attempt to do these all at the same time, or even in the same year. But they are things I want to do.
1. Make big soft pretzels.
2. Plant a play yard with sunflower walls and a teepee covered in some sort of vine.
3. Grow a small garden that he gets to decide what is in it.
4. Do yoga together.
5. Do little "chef" classes - he loves to help in the kitchen.
6. Read together every day, just for fun.
7. Test out every playground in the city.
8. Feed the geese our failures from number five.
9. Make suet pine cones with pine cones we gather ourselves.
10. Blow the biggest bubble ever.
11. Sidewalk chalk art contests.
12. Weekly library trips.
13. Learn the names of the stars in the sky.
14. Take walks under every full moon.
15. Hopscotch.
16. Go to the zoo a lot.
17. Visiting daddy at work for lunch.
18. Nature walks.
19. Building forts and caves in the living room.
20. Bike rides.
21. Popping popcorn on the stove.
I will not attempt to do these all at the same time, or even in the same year. But they are things I want to do.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Seven for Saturday - January 14, 2012
1. Getting to use the phrase, "Whatcha gonna do, fire me?" at work. There are some benefits to resigning.
2. Going an entire week without burning anything in the microwave at work - did I mention burning popcorn and then almost setting off the smoke alarm at work the next day last week? A week later the microwave still smells like smoke. Apparently, they are serious about the "add water to line" part when you make fancy cup o noodles. Note to self - figure out if there is a way to remove smoke smell from microwaves. I'm pretty sure that some combination of baking soda and vinegar would do it.
3. We have a pupusa wagon in town! The only El Salvadorean restaurant in town was short lived and went out of business about two years ago. But we had pupusas for dinner tonight and they were sooooo good.
4. Reading a new book to Cooper and watching him be mesmerized by the story. If you have a child in your family mesmerized by trucks, you should get a copy of Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site. It is wonderful.
5. GeekBoy restocked my emergency chocolate drawer without prompting. He also stocked it with multiple types of chocolate so I can match the emergency with the appropriate treat.
6. I ordered some frames for the art work GeekBoy bought me for Christmas. They showed up this week heavily bubble wrapped. So Cooper and I have been having bubble wrap dance parties this week.
7. GeekBoy made the best oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies Sunday night. They were delicious, and he made them because I wasn't feeling well and asked him to make me cookies and he didn't even complain at all.
2. Going an entire week without burning anything in the microwave at work - did I mention burning popcorn and then almost setting off the smoke alarm at work the next day last week? A week later the microwave still smells like smoke. Apparently, they are serious about the "add water to line" part when you make fancy cup o noodles. Note to self - figure out if there is a way to remove smoke smell from microwaves. I'm pretty sure that some combination of baking soda and vinegar would do it.
3. We have a pupusa wagon in town! The only El Salvadorean restaurant in town was short lived and went out of business about two years ago. But we had pupusas for dinner tonight and they were sooooo good.
4. Reading a new book to Cooper and watching him be mesmerized by the story. If you have a child in your family mesmerized by trucks, you should get a copy of Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site. It is wonderful.
5. GeekBoy restocked my emergency chocolate drawer without prompting. He also stocked it with multiple types of chocolate so I can match the emergency with the appropriate treat.
6. I ordered some frames for the art work GeekBoy bought me for Christmas. They showed up this week heavily bubble wrapped. So Cooper and I have been having bubble wrap dance parties this week.
7. GeekBoy made the best oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies Sunday night. They were delicious, and he made them because I wasn't feeling well and asked him to make me cookies and he didn't even complain at all.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Cooper, I Choose You
I would like to announce that I have knocked two things off of my list. I have a new mattress on the way. Also, I did something completely unexpected, though it was not spontaneous.
I quit my job.
I love my job. No, seriously. I love it. I've worked hard to get where I am. I love my coworkers. I love my students. I love being around these people and the conversations and the energy and feeling like I am making a difference in the world.
The part I don't like is spending every day on painkillers because my job uses up every ounce of energy I have and then draws on my reserves. Weekends for the last semester have been spent sleeping to regain energy. Every night after work involved me slumping into a chair, taking pain medication with my dinner, and having no ability to interact meaningfully with my husband or son. I was on painkillers almost every day for the last six weeks of the semester.
Over Christmas break, I actually got to sleep. I got to rest. I got to relax. I stopped being on painkillers. I laughed all the way down to my soul. I played with my son. I had fantastic sex with my husband. I remembered the person I used to be before I was on pain meds every day.
On one of the last days of break, as GeekBoy and I had a lovely lunch together, he asked me, "Do you really want to go back?" And I started to cry. Because as much as I love the people and the students and teaching, I dreaded going back to the zombie I am during the semester.
Last semester, Cooper got used to being with me for five minutes a day. I couldn't play with him, because if he touched me too hard, it would hurt so bad I couldn't keep from crying out in pain. And then he prayed to ask Heavenly Father to make me better so I could play with him.
When your child prays for something, how can you not do everything in your power to answer his prayers?
And so today, I quit. Academic hiring takes forever, and I don't feel like I can leave the university or the department in the lurch, so my plan is for me to finish out this semester as scheduled, to drop to 75% contract next semester, and then to stop working.
This was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. I feel like I am letting down my department, my university, my students, especially the female ones as I am the only female permanent faculty member in the department, womankind in general, and myself. If only I was stronger/better/faster/more righteous/more something, I would have been able to do everything.
But I can't.
I can't be the mother I want to be or the wife I want to be and keep all the balls in the air. I taught one class today. I advised one student today. I planned one activity today. And I'm tired. And I hurt.
I needed to make a decision, and through a lot of prayer and crying and priesthood blessings, Geekboy and I have made the decision that I am going to be a stay-at-home mom for the next little while. Cooper is going to get a mommy he can play with. And everything is going to be okay.
I quit my job.
I love my job. No, seriously. I love it. I've worked hard to get where I am. I love my coworkers. I love my students. I love being around these people and the conversations and the energy and feeling like I am making a difference in the world.
The part I don't like is spending every day on painkillers because my job uses up every ounce of energy I have and then draws on my reserves. Weekends for the last semester have been spent sleeping to regain energy. Every night after work involved me slumping into a chair, taking pain medication with my dinner, and having no ability to interact meaningfully with my husband or son. I was on painkillers almost every day for the last six weeks of the semester.
Over Christmas break, I actually got to sleep. I got to rest. I got to relax. I stopped being on painkillers. I laughed all the way down to my soul. I played with my son. I had fantastic sex with my husband. I remembered the person I used to be before I was on pain meds every day.
On one of the last days of break, as GeekBoy and I had a lovely lunch together, he asked me, "Do you really want to go back?" And I started to cry. Because as much as I love the people and the students and teaching, I dreaded going back to the zombie I am during the semester.
Last semester, Cooper got used to being with me for five minutes a day. I couldn't play with him, because if he touched me too hard, it would hurt so bad I couldn't keep from crying out in pain. And then he prayed to ask Heavenly Father to make me better so I could play with him.
When your child prays for something, how can you not do everything in your power to answer his prayers?
And so today, I quit. Academic hiring takes forever, and I don't feel like I can leave the university or the department in the lurch, so my plan is for me to finish out this semester as scheduled, to drop to 75% contract next semester, and then to stop working.
This was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. I feel like I am letting down my department, my university, my students, especially the female ones as I am the only female permanent faculty member in the department, womankind in general, and myself. If only I was stronger/better/faster/more righteous/more something, I would have been able to do everything.
But I can't.
I can't be the mother I want to be or the wife I want to be and keep all the balls in the air. I taught one class today. I advised one student today. I planned one activity today. And I'm tired. And I hurt.
I needed to make a decision, and through a lot of prayer and crying and priesthood blessings, Geekboy and I have made the decision that I am going to be a stay-at-home mom for the next little while. Cooper is going to get a mommy he can play with. And everything is going to be okay.
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